Exhausted. Is this what it feels like to be on the tail end of your 20’s and have seemingly everything? I. am. fucking. exhausted. Exhausted of this life. Of this feeling Of this, dare I say it? Relationship. I […]Read more "June 19, 2017"
Here I am again, fighting the sudden and nagging urge to tear my flesh off again. I want to stab my eyes out with a pen. I want to peel the skin off my face. I want to tear myself wide open similar to cutting open a cat in the process of dissecting it. Fuck. […]Read more "Get me off this thing"
I have been struggling. In every aspect of my life. This slow downward spiral is starting to spin out of control. Drinking. Self loathing. Pain. The lonely feeling of wanting to cut myself to shreds is unbearable. Even as I sit here in the living room, with one I love less than 30 feet […]Read more "First, in a long line."
Run away with me. Into the night never to be seen again Run with me. Into shroud of darkness Were only you and I will exist Run. Run away, girl For you will be discovered And it will not be pretty.Read more "RUN."
I cannot wait. Cannot wait to feel your hands on me your.. ..lips on my neck ..breath on my back Your strength. Knowing that those hands could rip me apart in mere seconds. Limb from limb. And I, will still give myself to you. Quivering Wide eyed. Lead me into darkness, and I will follow. […]Read more "Tear me apart"
Today begins the depressive downswing of my moods. the darkness starts today. I can’t sleep. All i want to do is listen to classical and cut my wrists. And think about bleeding out in the tub. soaking in my blood until my unsuspecting boyfriend comes home. Hopefully before I bleed to death. I just want […]Read more "Adagio"
As I sit here, alone, working on my fourth, maybe fifth? glass of wine, Beethoven’s 7th coursing through my speakers, I cannot help but to feel this shit in my soul. So angsty, so lovely, so manic, so depressive. In the span of four measures. Ludwig is, by far, my favorite composer. Not only to […]Read more "Op. No 92- Ludwig van Beethoven"