June 19, 2017

Exhausted.

Is this what it feels like to be on the tail end of your 20’s and have seemingly everything?

I. am. fucking. exhausted.

Exhausted of this life.

Of this feeling

Of this, dare I say it?

                                    Relationship.

I constantly find myself fantasizing about my own place, being untethered. And yet, after every opportunity presented to me by the powers that be, I am still her.

Why is it that I stay? Do I  really love him or is it what they say…

Convenient.

Do I value others opinions so much that I have lost sight of my own cognition?

Stress? Is this what is causing my anguish?

Or, am I a masochist that throughly enjoys feeling herself die bit by bit on the daily?

Or, is it depression, rearing her ugly head like the fuckboy that she is.

Am I staying because there is hope? Or am I staying because I have grown too lazy and comfortable to actually be the person I know I can be.

Stand up for yourself, and take what is rightfully yours, your happiness.

I want to crawl in a hole and sleep forever, until the world ends, and I am the only one left. Alone. To revel in my loneliness. I just want to sleep, and forget about this never-ending bullshit that is life.

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