Exhausted. Is this what it feels like to be on the tail end of your 20’s and have seemingly everything? I. am. fucking. exhausted. Exhausted of this life. Of this feeling Of this, dare I say it?                                     Relationship. I […]

Read more "June 19, 2017"

Here I am again, fighting the sudden and nagging urge to tear my flesh off again. I want to stab my eyes out with a pen. I want to peel the skin off my face. I want to tear myself wide open similar to cutting open a cat in the process of dissecting it. Fuck. […]

Read more "Get me off this thing"

I have been struggling. In every aspect of my life. This slow downward spiral is starting to spin out of control. Drinking. Self loathing. Pain.   The lonely feeling of wanting to  cut myself to shreds is unbearable. Even as I sit here in the living room, with one I love less than 30 feet […]

Read more "First, in a long line."

Run away with me. Into the night never to be seen again Run with me. Into  shroud of darkness Were only you and I will exist Run. Run away, girl For you will  be discovered And it will not be pretty.    

Read more "RUN."

I cannot wait. Cannot wait to feel your hands on me your.. ..lips on my neck ..breath on my back Your strength. Knowing that those hands could rip  me apart in mere seconds. Limb from limb. And I, will still give myself to you. Quivering Wide eyed. Lead me into darkness, and I will  follow. […]

Read more "Tear me apart"

Today begins the depressive downswing of my moods. the darkness starts today. I can’t sleep. All i want to do is listen to classical and cut my wrists. And think about bleeding out in the tub. soaking in my blood until  my unsuspecting boyfriend comes home. Hopefully before I bleed to death. I just want […]

Read more "Adagio"

As I sit here, alone, working on my fourth, maybe fifth? glass of wine, Beethoven’s 7th coursing through my speakers, I cannot help but to feel this shit in my soul. So angsty, so lovely, so  manic, so depressive. In the span of four measures. Ludwig is, by far, my favorite composer. Not only to […]

Read more "Op. No 92- Ludwig van Beethoven"

Well  hey there fuck boy. How nice of you to drop by And remind me how much you think I need you      

Read more "FCUK boy"

Waiting. I feel like I am constantly waiting for you. Waiting for you to respond. Waiting for you to arrive. Waiting for you to tell me that you love me. Waiting. By the phone In the wings In the shadows Down the street Waiting for you to finally be mine.    

Read more "Waiting"